Dealing With Frustrating Mechutanim
Dear Penina, I am struggling with a situation that has weighed on me for years, ever since my daughter got married. I kept hoping time would soften my feelings toward our mechutanim, but instead, the situation has become more complicated as the family has grown. From the beginning, the relationship between our two families felt […]
The Language of Longing: Bridging the Appreciation Gap
Dear Penina, I love my wife and I think I’m a good husband. I work hard, I’m loyal and I’m always there when she asks for help. But lately, things have been tense. She tells me she feels starved for appreciation and that I’m illiterate when it comes to compliments or words of affirmation. Honestly, […]
Letting Go of Past Trauma
Dear Penina, Thank you so much for writing your column. I was wondering if you could help me with a persistent problem. An important person in my life used to get angry with me frequently, often yelling, putting me down, and calling me names. Over the years, he worked on his anger and no longer […]
Bridging the Gaps in How Couples Express Love
Dear Penina, I’m struggling with something in my relationship with my spouse. We seem to show and feel love in completely different ways. I’m constantly trying to express my love and care, but no matter what I do, it never seems to be enough or the “right” way. I put in so much effort, but […]
Nishmat Kol Chai: Penina Flug: “Enhancing Your Marriage”
Helping a Sibling When Parents Mishandle the Shidduch Process
Dear Penina, I’m at a loss about how to help my younger sister with shidduchim. I believe my parents are making serious mistakes, but I’m not sure if or how to tell them—they’re easily offended and hold grudges. The problems show up at two stages of the dating process. First, they’re really misguiding my sister […]
Navigating Conflict With Both Sets of In-Laws
Dear Penina, We have been married for 15 years, yet our parents have never truly gotten along. During our engagement, a major dispute over financial promises nearly derailed our wedding. While the money issue was eventually settled, the harsh insults exchanged during that time created a rift that has never been repaired. Both of our […]
When Couples Feel More Like Roommates
Dear Penina, I love my husband deeply, and we have a beautiful life with three young children. However, lately, I feel like we’ve become nothing more than roommates. Our entire day consists of logistics: who is picking up which child, what’s for dinner, what homework needs to be done, carpools, and which appointments, applications, or […]
Family CEO or Co-Parent?
Dear Penina, I love my husband, but I feel like I have a second, invisible job: “Family CEO.” I manage the entire mental load—the calendar, doctor’s appointments, dinner plans, school forms, and house maintenance—all without being asked. When I finally hit a wall and ask him to help, he waits for me to assign a […]
Navigating a Child’s Shidduchim
Dear Penina, My daughter is “in shidduchim,” and I’m very frustrated. Often when a suggestion is made for her, I want her to say yes, and she says no. She won’t accept my influence or talk to me. I feel she is limiting herself and being too picky. Whenever I try to present my opinion, […]