Family Tensions, a Milestone and an Impossible Choice
Dear Penina, I really enjoy your column and hope you can help me. I have a very difficult question, and I fear there’s no good answer. My relationship with my younger brother has been tenuous for years, since our parents’ messy divorce. He has mental health issues and refuses to get help. As a result, […]
How to Set Boundaries With Compassion When Friendships Become a Burden
Dear Penina, I’m struggling with a friendship that has left me feeling trapped and anxious. My friend considers me her best friend, and I don’t feel the same way. I have a few other close friends whom I really enjoy and appreciate, but this particular friend drains me emotionally. I am a very busy working […]
Harmonizing In-Law Relationships and Spousal Dynamics
Dear Penina, We have been married for six years and have two young children. Given community and family norms, it is expected that we spend Pesach with our parents—the first days at one set and the second days at the other. Going away for Pesach and other Yamim Tovim puts a real stress on our […]
Learning to Navigate Serious Illness Together
Dear Penina, My husband was recently diagnosed with a serious illness, and he’s adamant that we keep the news private, sharing it only with our immediate family. He wants to avoid people asking questions, talking about him, or offering help. While I understand his desire for privacy, I’m struggling with this decision. I desperately need […]
Love, Marriage and Mother-in-Law Dynamics: Finding the Right Balance
Dear Penina, I’ve been married for five years and I truly have a great marriage. My husband is a great guy and is very good to me. Since we got married, my husband has been very close with his mom, seeking her advice and trying to make her happy. At first, I was proud of […]
Navigating Family Responsibilities Between Siblings
Dear Penina, I enjoy reading your column and I hope you can help me with my problem. I live close to my aging parents and I feel that most of the responsibilities are falling on me. How do I ask my younger sister who lives about 30 minutes away to help and how do I […]
Addressing Shut-Downs in Your Marriage
Dear Penina, Baruch Hashem, my wife and I are happily married, and we don’t have any major conflicts. We do, however, squabble over some issues—how to discipline our kids, finances, etc.—and my sense is that this is normal for a happily married couple. However, lately, I’ve noticed that whenever I bring up a difficult issue, […]
How To Give A Good Apology
“I’m sorry, okay?!” does not work. Even though it can initially be annoying as hell, a good apology is one of the best gifts to give. When I do couples counselling, I get to see how people give and receive apologies. I get to see the kinds of apologies that don’t work and sadly, do […]
Ask for What You Need
Dear Penina, I’m writing to you today with a question that’s been on my mind recently. As someone who values both tradition and meaningful gestures, I was a little disappointed this Chanukah when my husband didn’t give me a gift. Now, before I go any further, I want to emphasize that he is, without a […]
Connecting to a Daughter-in-Law
Dear Penina, About a year ago, our son got married to a wonderful young woman. The couple is very happy, but I have a difficult time connecting with my daughter-in-law. I have tried many things — sending her gifts, taking her out for coffee or dinner, calling to check in — but nothing seems to […]